Brown Bear Nation I'm just a brown bear in a world without honey, these are my bad decisions, my writing pieces, my music, my thoughts, my favorite things, and they are all here for you to read and make fun of, because I do.

          I think that there are times in all of our lives when something will come and bite us in the ass. For me, I’m pretty certain my bite will come in the near future. Someone tell me how we all search for the smart, sweet, sincere significant other and when he or she finally comes along, you’re just not feeling it. I finally really put myself back out there and I’m trying to start something with a really fantastic individual and well, its just not working out. I’ll acknowledge that it’s just not working out on my side alone, but hey, if its not working for me, it will eventually not work out for him. I know he’s really trying. He sees how uneasy I am, but I can’t explain how confused I am about relationships and romance right now. I’m exhausted mentally and I hate to say it, but he came into my life at a bad time. I’m pissed because I would love to be that girl for him, but as I attempt more and more, I can tell that my heart is not in it. No matter how much I appreciate him or like him, I’m just not suitable for dating. I am currently the Barbie that came without a brush and extra outfit. Timing is a motherfucker. I’ve heard never to jump into something after a break up or relationship, but I didn’t really consider the eventual mindfuck that was Derek a break up. It was the inevitable, I was just too blind for a while to realize it. I clearly am not ready.

         What sucks the most about this situation is that I hated that Derek basically gave up on the small things so I gave up on him. This kid does the small things without me asking, he does it often and randomly and I hate it lol. It literally makes me sick lol. Why? =(  What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m so confused. I’m starting to wonder if I made Derek sick in the same way… Well, It doesn’t matter. I’m absolutely done with that. Yet, I am not in the right mindset to begin anything. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to let him go so soon, but I can’t keep him so close. I need to date around. Attachment is too hard on my brain, my heart and I don’t know how to make it right. I want to fix this. He really likes me. He asked me and I avoided the question. I avoid a lot of questions, ya know. I genuinely don’t know. Or..or do I?

Disclaimer: This “you” is not you, its the hypothetical “you” unless it really is you. lol

  I’m going to cut the poetic somber bullshit and get straight to the point. Do I have, “Fuck me over” on tattooed on my motherfuckin forehead? Do I look like a sucker? If you think so then I’m going to have to ask you to put your own foot up your own ass because you would perfer that I don’t do it. I know I wasn’t the only person born with the ability to reason. A lot of shit has been on my mind for a while and as it has accumulated so rapidly, I’d like some advice, some comments, some insight. These are the things I know and don’t know:

I know it is not that hard to call or write someone on that person’s birthday, esp. when you care about that someone, when he/she makes effort after effort to show you he or she cares. I know you don’t go after one of your friend’s crushes and if you have to ask then you know you’re in the wrong, which means NO. I know you genuinely wonder if your friend is having fun at his or her own birthday party and when she looks like she’s not, when she is cleaning while everyone else is having a grand time, that you seriously sitb him or her down and ask them whats wrong. I don’t know how people don’t expect their friends to change or make friends with people who they may not like. I know that if a person is trying to illustrate to someone that he or she wants to be a friend again instead of an asshole that just comes in and out of that person’s life then you make a consistent effort, yes? If I’m wrong, please explain. I love to learn. I’m so ready to getting motherfuckin hooked on phonetics or better yet hooked on the art of bullshit! I always say, walk in that other person’s shoes and see how it feels to I don’t know, not get called on your birthday, feel horrible during your own bday party, have a friend “hit it off” with a crush you’ve had for two years since Winter semester Political Sci at 12:00p with Prof. Robert Ingersol!, get yelled at for someone elses behavior (when clearly you couldn’t control how things occured cause hey, you’re not god), or put your faith back in someone and be disappointed.

 Damn, I’m guessing it would feel pretty shitty if one looks beyond the possible lame excuse one could conjure up to make his or herself feel better. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell and it should because you’ll learn to never get fucked over again.

Disclaimer: Question is NOT about me.  

Is it right to make a move on someone your friend has a crush on, esp. if you know it?

I’ve heard a few different answers, all interesting and critically thought out. Let me know what you think.