Brown Bear Nation Welcome to the Brown Bear Episodes. Sit back, relax, read, view, and possibly enjoy the post-grad saga of a girl with no shame and a whole lot of heart.

Constriction, the possibilities as they are are narrowed significantly. I’m not caught off guard as it were maybe weeks ago whilst I believed that circumstances would consistently be the way you lead me to believe, but you keep changing and fading, flipping this situation that cannot be called a relationship.

Conviction, I wait for you to consciously give it, to be obvious, to admit it purposefully that you-want-to be-with-me. But even in this admission, I see, I feel the definite stupidity. Tell me how people can be together if they are never together. And you and I, were rarely together initially.

Division, while I try to mend the slash that distance has created with small measures of appreciation, you’re endlessly lazy in reply, casually letting me know you’ve got less important things on your list of every changing priorities. Read an another book or take five seconds to send this heart I placed in your grasp a postcard?.?.?…

Negation, You’ve chosen to forget the little things and forget I’m not at your current disposal, that I can’t forgive and forget your careless manners and lack of sincerity if you’re not here to make it up to me, if my short memories are fleeting, you forget or rather aren’t concerned that I’m worth consideration so

Ignition, Fuck hanging on and praising a beautiful beginning, because its only me, fuck grasping, trying to know you still, whilst you act so casually, whilst you lost your hold that I was trying to reattach for you constantly.  Fuck thinking I’ll never come across another person who could choose me genuinely, want or like, care for, see himself with…me. I appreciate you tremendously for what it was, but I know you can’t want me, honestly, if you don’t know what you want at all. And you’ll be emotionless in reaction and I’ll be emotionless as I look for distraction.